"That'd be dumb.

no one can admire you when your dead and you'll quit astounding people. I think what you're doing is astounding."

Talking to one of my best friends about my disorder really helped a lot. I get really overwhelmed when things don't go my way and I want to be dead because in that hour or two, it feels like my world is falling apart and it'll never get better and I can't escape the hurt I'm feeling then and there. I want to flee.

I had some troubling news today. I found out my flatmate bailed on me, and then the only other woman in my company was fired. I went behind the comic book shop after my shift and just cried for a long while. I was able to talk to David on the phone after I calmed down and talk more sane and realistically... kind of walk away from the bpd failzorz Bree. It was good to just talk. Then some people really pulled through for me. Wendy took me to my rental appointment. Santi drove me to work today. (today was my day off but I didn't want to stay at home.) Anna came and met me for lunch and then another friend came and picked me up after my renting appointment.

The thing is... as shameful as it may be, when you can... ask... and talk. I felt closer to people once I voiced my uneasiness and they were more than willing to help and listen or offer emotional support.

Leaving the day to end on not such a sour note. I feel much better about things.