like an open letter to everybody and yes, it's very personal in some aspects but there are just some parts of me that doesn't care. If you know, I don't care. Often times in life, I don't carry the burden of shame.
My weekends don't really matter much to me now that I'm on a hiatus from work. Every day is a holiday, a weekend waiting to just be filled with things I've never had time for when I was at work. So what have I been doing? Tough call on that. I know that my ADHD probably has a lot to do with it. I'll end up pacing my house in circles... surrounding myself with things that I should like to do. I have a kindle full of 38 new books that I have never read and should like to. In utmost priority I have Dance with Dragons. Prior to that I finished the first 3 volumes of Preacher. (Intense, Amazing. Mind blowing!) I also have the first volume of Transmet tucked under my pillow, then I have World of Warcraft to fill the idle hours a stack of names for people who I need to write... half a basket full of dirty laundry and Gods know what else. I don't even know where to start. I start reading a few pages and then I walk out of the room, make hot chocolate... or an espresso... pace some more and then read some more. I wish that I could just give in, the way other people do instead of being so restless.
The weekend was good in the fact that I could hang out with friends. I had a birthday party at the SI Centrum. I wore heels and almost died. Heels look great on me... but they slay me! I had lunch twice at the Schilling Cafe in Boeblingen. Vivi invited me to see her baby but we had to cancel and reschedule. I watched Magnolia on Sunday and fell asleep on the couch reading the Reek chapter in Dance With Dragons. I also spent most of the day smoking and listening to VNV Nation. The weather is crappy, so it wasn't a total loss.
My therapist is nice and he's a good tool to use because there are some things that only certain people know, and then things that I only keep to myself. There are few things I have shame about and they all involve my disorder. So I can't wait for Wednesday when I can put all my monsters on the table and say, "Now what... fix me, please."
I get people things when I feel discontent.
"Your smile is nearly lovecraftian in how it can drive men mad."
