I'm going to be a mama.

Yesterday, around 11... I found out that I was indeed, pregnant. It still doesn't feel real... even after three confirmations. I'm about four weeks... I found out earlier than most because of my short cycles. Anyway, there are definite life changes in store.

Btw.

I got attacked last night and is it weird I feel sorry for that dude? Some weird part of me does. It makes no sense.

All things considered?

I have actually surprised myself. Once the novelty wears off, of course, its pretty hard to believe I came here with my whole life in two suitcases and 500 bucks. I have an apartment,  two jobs, a car and a puppy. Heck, I even managed to find a boyfriend... and a good one at that.

Yet? I still struggle with my own inadequacies and wonder if I am doing enough. I'm still impulsive and I worry constantly because I am always worried that happiness is some great facade that will flee from me when I am too comfortable. I wonder if I deserve it and how soon can I possibly fuck this up.