Blogging is just

like an open letter to everybody and yes, it's very personal in some aspects but there are just some parts of me that doesn't care. If you know, I don't care. Often times in life, I don't carry the burden of shame.

My weekends don't really matter much to me now that I'm on a hiatus from work. Every day is a holiday, a weekend waiting to just be filled with things I've never had time for when I was at work. So what have I been doing? Tough call on that. I know that my ADHD probably has a lot to do with it. I'll end up pacing my house in circles... surrounding myself with things that I should like to do. I have a kindle full of 38 new books that I have never read and should like to. In utmost priority I have Dance with Dragons. Prior to that I finished the first 3 volumes of Preacher. (Intense, Amazing. Mind blowing!) I also have the first volume of Transmet tucked under my pillow, then I have World of Warcraft to fill the idle hours a stack of names for people who I need to write... half a basket full of dirty laundry and Gods know what else. I don't even know where to start. I start reading a few pages and then I walk out of the room, make hot chocolate... or an espresso... pace some more and then read some more. I wish that I could just give in, the way other people do instead of being so restless.

The weekend was good in the fact that I could hang out with friends. I had a birthday party at the SI Centrum. I wore heels and almost died. Heels look great on me... but they slay me! I had lunch twice at the Schilling Cafe in Boeblingen. Vivi invited me to see her baby but we had to cancel and reschedule. I watched Magnolia on Sunday and fell asleep on the couch reading the Reek chapter in Dance With Dragons. I also spent most of the day smoking and listening to VNV Nation. The weather is crappy, so it wasn't a total loss.

My therapist is nice and he's a good tool to use because there are some things that only certain people know, and then things that I only keep to myself. There are few things I have shame about and they all involve my disorder. So I can't wait for Wednesday when I can put all my monsters on the table and say, "Now what... fix me, please."

I get people things when I feel discontent.

"Your smile is nearly lovecraftian in how it can drive men mad."