Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I'm engorged...

I haven't emptied my breasts in two days. I have also harbored these intense feelings that have been banging at my ribs and swelling up to my eyes, my own blue bird.

It's painful but I want to suffocate these illogical feelings and not let them see the light because I want control of the situation.

My appetite has diminished along with my sense of self and ability and/or motivation to fight it.

My daughter kicks and smiles when she sees me and the darkness hides in my heels and I forget almost its there... and when she is away, I panic and all the lights turn off. I feel like I don't deserve anything.

My eyes are dry but there is a storm inside that won't stop raining.

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