when I'm not reading or writing. I couldn't tell you exactly why. It's one of those things though, I feel like I'm not meeting some internal deadline. So here I am. It's near the last hour of my working shift and I have to go pick up Oswin in about 45 minutes from a friend.
Oswin and I move into our apartment tomorrow and I'm pumped. Especially since I have things to put in my apartment. I'll even have a walk in closet! I'm pretty stoked. Unfortunately, half of my clothes and shoes are still in Germany, not to mention all my bedding. Do you know how much queen comforter sets are running? Still? I am pretty excited about starting over, having my own place and filling it up little by little. I was ill Sunday and Monday and am finally starting to feel better. So I dropped Oswin off at puppy daycare and have been spending the day working with James. I enjoy working with James. We can talk about World of Warcraft and Game of Thrones. I ate candy and watched The Dog Whisperer. Dave came in today and bought a bed. Talking to a friend was fun for a bit. I find however, that I can't really talk coherently lately. I get nervous and stutter. Maybe because I've looked like hell lately... or the fact that I'm not sleeping.
I was super bummed when I realized with my schedule and my expenses, I probably can't pursue kung fu right away, not until my puppy gets older. Then, I have to figure out how I'll take her on vacation with me. Driving? Flying? Pet friendly hotels? I really wanted to go to Sweden in August. Plus, I am still planning on the wedding in Pennsylvania. Is it easier to appreciate somebody from far away so you don't have the opportunity to get bored of them? Or is the disappointment inevitable either way?
I haven't been working on my little writing projects. I'm not working on my book at the moment. Is it bad to say I've kind of lost my material to work with? Are men material to work with?!
That's super depressing. I've been having the inevitable heart sinks lately. The guilty heart sinks.
some dudes are only good for material. or their bad news is so consuming, it's all you can think to write about. then you get past it and you get to write about the things you really want to say without the strange direction of relationships.
ReplyDeleteand idk how you write about things as they happen btw. i've never been able to do that.
I don't know. Anymore... I just look back on my writing and think... 'shit, shit, shit.' I want to write something substantial and stray away from my usual topics. I started these projects where I would pick a theme randomly and write about it. It was going well for a while but I've since then stopped.
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