Today was a holiday so I decided to help my friend out and watch her little girl. I must have gotten overzealous with my snooze button. I solved a series of math problems and slept until 7am! I slept on the train and felt like death. Mia and I played and made collages, painted and read stories about the Bauernhof. My German speaking put her to sleep. :p
Julie wanted to talk about everything afterwards and I cried a bit. I am physically exhausted and the spotting stopped Saturday, only to start again today. My face is breaking out like crazy and when I eat, I get sick.
I cleaned all of Saturday and got rid of more clothes. Then I played Wow for about ten hours, if only to keep myself occupied. I got about 60 achievements and leveled up a Pandaren monk. Alex and I chatted in game about all the lore. How Garrosh's dad popped bloodlust and died for Thrall. Garrosh is a crazy bastard. I should totally write for Blizzard.
People keep trying to help me out, they offer money and a sympathetic ear or shoulder but honestly? I just want to feel normal again. To stop bleeding and to rest. I have a feeling the guilt and sadness will come in waves. The hardest part is smiling and saying, 'I am fine. This was for the best.' Even coffee with Rüdi was a little hard, the tears welled up and I laughed into my coffee and asked if there were any good shows coming up. I could use a good music show.
But I have Pandas, Druids and books. When everything is painful there are always video games.
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