I am blogging from the train

whilst things are still fresh in mind and to set my thoughts to the wind.

Innsbruck was definitely a good opportunity for me to free myself from obsessive work and thought processes. I needed to step out of my routine of mediocre and lazy weekends as of lately.

Dani asked me why I called reading and gaming my 'vices' as opposed to hobbies. To me it's apparent. I see it as a vice because lately I frantically cling to these things out of neccesity and as a means to protect myself from my arch nemesis... my subconscious, my depression... my ego... my... self. I always need something to fill up the emptiness... the holes, so to speak. I do these things for escapism. It's a temporary world to crawl in and leave for a while. I can't be left alone with ME lately. Or can I? I used to love it... but as I have stated on several occasions, transitioning has always intimidated me.

Saturday night, we went to a pub and there was this creeper who approached me while Dani and his friends were getting our drinks. He came up and told me I was beautiful. I smiled and said, 'Oh, well THANK YOU!' He then proceeded to tell me he wanted to make babies with me. Dani and his friends saw me freezing up and he and his friends ran over. The dude came back a couple more times before he got it. His friends apologized and said that it was 'uncommon' for people to come off as so crass. It isn't though, not to me. 25 minutes or so later another guy approached me even with Michi and Dani on each side of me. They're 6'4 so you'd think men would back off. Michi and Dani said I don't realize how approachable I make myself out to be. It made me think. Especially since it happened again Monday in the park. Maybe they're right but its fucked up nonetheless. It made me feel responsible... like I asked to be subjected to such things. It angered me. It's like saying girls who dress sexy are asking to be raped. Bullshit. I was on the brink of being livid.

I enjoyed the conversations and utter laziness of Sunday. I didn't even bother to head back until Monday.

Monday, Dani and I explored Innsbruck and talked a lot. It was grand. As I have said, I miss interactions like this. I left at 7pm and met Angie in Ulm at 930 and we talked and talked.

I was too lazy to do anything when I got home, I just slept until my alarm woke me at 6 for work. It was awesome to have my regular class back. Hugs and love. Oh, my little humans.

I can't talk about everything here... so I will write a long letter to myself after this and finish up my book.

I have already forgotten half of what I wanted to express intially on here anyway.